What house will you choose?

Do you remember this scene in the first of the Harry Potter series?  It's Harry's first year at Hogwarts School of Magic and he has go through what's known as a sorting ceremony.

Putting on an old witches hat knows as the "Sorting Hat" is a long time rite of passage for Hogwarts students. The hat's job is to tell each new student which one of the school's 4 houses - Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, Slytherin or Hufflepuff -  they will become a member of, not just until they graduate, but for life. 

Harry sits nervously on a stool in front of the entire school and the sorting hat is placed on his head. It ruminates briefly and nearly decides to send him to his last choice of houses - Slytherin. Harry frantically thinks, "No! Please not there! anywhere but there!" Unexpectedly, the hat hears his thoughts, and tries to convince Harry, noting that Slytherin has produced many great Wizards. Harry remains firm in his resistance and finally, the hat says to Harry, "Alright, if that's your choice," and the gruff Sorting Hat calls out for all to hear: "Harry Potter....GRYFFINDOR!!!" and with that pronouncement, Harry is placed in the house of his choice.

Watching the scene for the first time, I made the assumption that young Harry had no choice.  I remember being surprised that the sorting hat took Harry's thoughts into consideration and ultimately let him choose. I'd made the erroneous assumption that Harry simply had to do what the hat said, that those were "the rules."  We do this a lot in life: assume and then act as if things have to be a certain way... when they don't.


Everyday, we tolerate relationships and circumstances that aren't right for us by stepping into the "I don't have a choice" trap.  We tolerate bad professors, crazy roommates, and all sorts of dysfunctional situations,  avoiding hard choices or acting as if we don't have one.

Sometimes it is hard to make choices, but the time you wait to make them you'll never get back, and the phrase, "I wish I'd done this sooner" has been said by many a person who finally summoned the courage to make a hard choice and move on.

This week, ask yourself: in what area of your life are you assuming that you have to take the orders of some version of a Sorting Hat?  What are your real choices? What are you afraid will happen if you make a choice?  Even if they are two (or more) unpleasant ones, you still owe it to yourself to weigh and explore options; doing that alone, will make you feel more empowered in your life, rather than trapped or paralyzed by some set of circumstances you assume are intractable. 

When you dare to choose, you take the wheel, the reins, the helm, you take over what's happening in your life and start going where YOU want to go. A habit of delaying or not making choices may result in you being in a house you don't want to be in, possibly for a very long time, even for life.

This week, talk back to the Sorting Hat and make your choice.

Courtney Kirschbaum

Founder, Her Next Move